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Bridesmaid Duties, No Checklist Required.

Google "Bridesmaid Responsibilities", and allow the panic attack to ensue. Google "Maid of Honour Duties", and cry quietly into your wineglass. In 2018, the checklist for a bride's entourage has become lengthy, outrageous, and more detailed than ever. Weddings have become more excessive, and therefore, each bridesmaid has been appointed more duties for their unpaid career as a pseudo wedding planner than ever before. This doesn't mean we resent our positions, as we love our brides and want them to feel loved, respected, and cared for throughout the planning process. It does mean that we're doing away with your standard list of duties, and instead offering you an insight into how to be the best bridesmaid you can be, no checklist required.

If you've accepted an invitation to be a bridesmaid, or maid of honour, first acknowledge just how loved you must be. Soak in those years of sleepovers, tears, and memories, all which have led you and your bride-to-be to this moment. Rather than initially fretting over the money, time, and stress this role may incur, try to approach the position with positivity. This will make all tasks, big or small, seem much simpler, since you're doing them from a place of nostalgia and happiness.

Next up, be helpful. It seems simple, but so many bridesmaids place their own needs above the brides, and fail to realize the importance of this test of friendship. Her wedding is a once in a lifetime occasion, and if you place more importance on your (easily moved) dentist appointment than her dress appointments? You're sending a subliminal message that you don't care, about her or your friendship. Seems intense? It is. A bride is attempting to handle the opinions of family, friends, vendors, and her fiancé. She is attempting to barter on services, arrange florals, and somehow feed over 100 people. The stress she is under may be self-induced, but it's also necessary, and adding to it only makes you a part of the greater problem. Support, if nothing else, is the greatest quality you can offer your bride-to-be.

So be helpful. Smile in your bridesmaids dress, pick it up and alter it on time, and pay for it. If cost is an issue, offer to pay for as much as you can afford. Effort, even small efforts, will be what your bride remembers the most.

Pay attention to the details. Your bride may be organized and prepared, but she isn't perfect. She'll miss things along the way, forget appointments, or overlook important details of her wedding. If you notice? Offer to take on some of these tasks, but only the ones you'll actually complete. Develop photographer checklists, call caterers, arrange her hotel room for after the wedding. The bigger the wedding party, the easier it will be to delegate these tasks, and the less pressure you'll each feel. These tasks are not ONLY the responsibility of the maid of honour, so cut her some slack too. Keep in mind, there are also groomsmen who are not exempt from helping. If your side of the wedding party feels overloaded? Ask them for help.

Finally, have fun. Make her bachelorette party a memorable experience by keeping a positive attitude and being a yes man. Unless you're extremely sick or in labour, dance until you can't feel your feet and then carry her home. Same goes for the wedding reception. It's your job to be a hype man, make the bride and groom feel special, and keep the dance floor busy. Money and gifts are nice, but a memorable wedding experience, and time among the people they love is what it's all about. Remember they chose you not to torture you, but to remind you of how much they love you, and want to you be a part of their new life together. Soak in all the warm and fuzzies, and then get down to business.



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